Riding the Concussion Wave Week 1 [Do Not] Push Through

I remember two days after my blow to the head going to the grocery store not able to see straight and having double vision. People that know me know that I am a healthy eater. I bought a ton of junk food that night. Things I normally wouldn’t buy, I bought. It was the strangest thing. At the time I did not realize this was related to a potential concussion. Over the next several days my symptoms were getting worse not better.

I had called off work 3 days in a row. Day 4 after the injury I told myself “Get it together LO, you are fine. You can’t afford to waste more PTO.” I had been sleeping 13-14 hours through the night since the accident so I thought I was being lazy not going to work. Not trying hard enough. Looking back I was very hard on myself and left little to no room for self compassion. Off to work I went.

I drove to work. The cars around me were blurry. I couldn’t look at the traffic lights because I was so sensitive to light. “Just pay attention to the bumper in front of you” I told myself. I couldn’t see straight although I could focus on the double yellow lines on the road. For whatever reason that was ok for me. I drove 15 mph the entire way to work- way under the speed limit. Cars were honking their horns and racing past me.

When I got to work and opened my laptop the screen settings seemed extremely bright. It must be the overhead lights, I thought. I took my laptop and set up shop at a huddle booth in the office where the lighting was dimmer. That didn’t help much. At that point I suspected I had a concussion because I was extremely sensitive to lights. At the time I thought a concussion was an injury that only caused one to be sensitive to light so I figured I’d have to push through the light sensitivity and work around it by working in dimmer areas of the building.

As I attempted to answer emails I couldn’t comprehend how to. Every morning at work I have my routine. Most of us do. Why couldn’t I understand how to do my routine? Why couldn’t I understand how to do a task that I do every day? A task that comes so mindless to me now took an extreme amount of effort. That effort still didn’t suffice. Why can’t I provide an answer to the question the email is asking me? Why is the thought process a struggle? Why am I unable to comprehend something I typically can?

That day back to work I lasted 2.5 hrs and was sent home by my manager. Looking back I wonder if pushing through the initial symptoms has prolonged my recovery.

Above: My twin sister aka roommates perspective on watching me after the initial injury

Below: The SCAT5 is a standardized tool used for evaluating concussions. Common post-concussion symptoms and their correlating treatments are displayed. Symptoms may not appear all at once and accumulate as days, weeks and months go on. Read more here.

Another important thing to point out is that the chart above has 6 different areas of focus for symptoms. I will not be surprised when more sections are added. That is at least 6 different specialists that are utilized to treat each area. Within each area there are addition symptoms that could require additional specialists. You get the idea. This eventually gets pretty ugly, complex, exhausting and not to mention expensive.